Saturday 3 December 2011

November

I couldn't be happier now that December has finally come along. After all, it can only mean one thing (no, not Christmas) - the new year is coming...and a clean start. Again.

Although this year has been very successful, personally. Mentally, I haven't felt to be in the right place at all. It's taken me the entire year to realise I need to do something about it. November was a simply awful month:

#1. I broke up with my girlfriend. Although we were not together very long, we saw a lot of one another. She was a charming girl - very sweet when we were together, but a completely different person when apart. There was very little sensitivity and quite often I couldn't help but feel those usual 'where on earth do I stand?!' thoughts. As individuals, I appreciate everyone is different...but in my opinion, I think it is nice if a man holds open a door for a woman, or gives up his seat for her on the tube. I feel VERY awkward if I am sitting down and a woman is stood up uncomfortably infront of me. It makes ME feel uncomfortable that SHE is uncomfortable. Oh dear, it's awful to explain without potentially being branded as 'sexist' by people, but I hope you understand what I mean. I do it because I think it is the right thing to do...and because it is quite simply NICE. Anyway, she absolutely HATED IT if I held open a door, helped with her jacket or if I made virtually ANY 'gentlemanly' gestures. But still, because I really liked her and felt compromise was important, I decided to try to be a bit more conscious of her feelings towards this...and I had a great degree of flexibility towards her. I won't go into a 'blow by blow' account, but I feel it is just a shame that she was unable to compromise for me on some things as I was for her because I really thought we were 'worth it'. Since the breakup all I have been doing is questioning myself as to WHY we actually broke up and whether it was because of ME. I've been blaming myself. I asked many people whether they feel that compromise is important in a relationship...and do you know what? Everyone said it IS. Even now I find it hard to understand why there was so little flexibility from her - just nothing. I really thought she liked me, but in the end here I am, remembering 'what was said' to me - the nice words...and what actually was 'to be' in the end. Yet again I have felt pretty messed around. Since the breakup, I have been moving on and have finally joined a proper running club. Running simply isn't meant for ONE, you see. I have met some nice people nevertheless - most of whom are in a similar age group to me.

Second blow. One week ago, I received news that my cat (and best friend, really) was run over by a car. To say it has broken my heart is an understatement. Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought to myself in utter disbelief "'Thomas' won't be with us this Christmas in our new house". Now I know there are many people who will probably coldly exclaim "it's only a CAT!" and would probably wince and sigh whilst reading this (if they bother), but Thomas was the most affectionate, beautiful and kind creature I have ever had the pleasure to have. I always thought dogs were a 'man's best friend', but little did I know how wonderful cats are too. They really show their feelings. They purr when they are happy, wrap themselves around you if they want attention, swipe you if they want you to stop...and even try to nibble you when they're feeling a little cheeky/playful. So special. I was never fed up with giving him love and attention. He was a joy to have in the family...and the bond he developed with our dogs..............even 'Gemma' still looks for him. She and him would always be nose to nose in the garden...or in the doorway as we let Thomas back in the house. It was so cute. Things will never be the same...

Ever since I moved to London for the duration of my Groundschool, Mum has told me that Thomas would wait beside my bed in the evenings......he missed me. I cannot come to terms with this.

Third blow; Exam results. Let's not go there. I need to get through this course and cannot afford to 'stall' any longer. My state of mind isn't helping me get through the days very easily though, currently. The fact that I am writing this at 0311hrs, speaks volumes. I'll let you come to a conclusion as to 'why'. We have started 'Phase B' now and it is 100x harder than 'A'! Subjects are as follows:

- General Navigation
- Radio Navigation
- Instrumentation
- Air Law & ATC Procedures
- Communications


Tough stuff...


Roll on New Years Eve. I'll be driving down to North Devon on the 28th and I simply cannot wait! I need a decent break and I can't wait to have some fun :). I'll try and get some airtime in too this Christmas holiday if I can. I haven't flown since this course started and have major withdrawal symptoms!


Apologies if my way of writing is awful in this post. As I'm sure you can gather, at the time of writing it is 0320hrs...and I should try to get some sleep. Again...

I think everyone should listen to this beautiful song. Lana Del Rey has a wonderful, unique voice and this is her new song...


Tuesday 8 November 2011

Phase A complete

.........by 'complete', I mean the first three examinations have just been taken which complete the first 'phase' of the course - two more phases to go! God knows whether I'll have to retake any though. I feel 'Principles of Flight' was the hardest. Well, they were ALL difficult, I can't say how I'm feeling about them really.

It's been absolutely ages since I last found a spare moment to post on here. I guess that alone reflects just how busy I have been with everything on this course. I have had many moments where I've questioned absolutely everything and even considered other careers, but I do believe that such thoughts are all part of the overall 'journey' with regard to this career path and that it is human nature to become (sometimes) overwhelmingly irrational when under the most intense heat of stress. This is stress that I cannot say I have ever experienced before - even compared to when I used to occasionally work the insane 0900-2000 shifts in retail, 5 days a week. I cannot say the three years I spent studying for my Degree can compare either. The sheer amount of studying we are expected to undertake for this course is just overwhelming. I have never felt 'on top' of it all yet...but I have been putting a huge degree of effort to try to keep the targets in sight.

I had three exams yesterday; 'Principles of Flight', 'Performance' and 'Aircraft General Knowledge'. I woke up at 0620hrs with a BANG - a text from my course friend, Sohail, reminding me to take my Passport to hand to the invigilator at the start of the first exam. This was the first setback of the day for me. Having had barely four hours sleep and being woken up by this text (my alarm was set for 0700hrs for goodness sake!), reality quickly rushed back to me as I realised my Passport was at home...locked away. Doubting my own thoughts I threw everything out of my desk drawers in a frantic panic whilst thinking that there COULD be a chance that my Passport was hidden in my flying logbook/pilots license or something...but it wasn't! :( I decided that there were probably other people who were in a similar situation to me and luckily I had my driving license in my wallet...which was accepted :).

First exam of the day was Principles of Flight. To be honest, I had approached this exam pretty certain in the knowledge that I was going to find it too hard because I had focused more on studying AGK and Performance intensively over the weekend. I simply wasn't in a position to pass Principles of Flight from the second the paper was presented to me. I have always struggled with getting to grips with the concepts of 'Aircraft Stability' and aerodynamics throughout the first phase of the course and I just knew, deep down in my heart that if I'm unlucky on one exam, it would most likely be PoF.

I wasn't wrong...

As soon as I opened the page and saw the questions I thought "oh great...". Still, I took my time on and answered every single question and double checked my answers. If I am to fail that subject, then I hope it is pretty close to a pass at least, because then I'll know that I'm not as bad at the topic as I thought I was! Anyway, the exam finished and I left feeling indifferent. I was just wanting to get AGK out of the way next.

AGK was much better I think. Although it was still ridiculously difficult to the point that I cannot possibly speculate on whether I have passed/failed, I do feel I understood most of the questions (85 to be precise!). Checking through all 85 of my answers took what felt like an iceage (exam was two hours long) and I left the exam feeling pretty tired and not really feeling like enduring the huge three hour gap until my final exam, Performance.

As expected, Performance was HELL...although I was thankful that we only had five graph questions. Students who have taken recent Performance examinations have felt as though the one hour time limit has been too short because the CAA (Civil Aviation Authority) have been throwing in sometimes up to 12 graph questions in one exam! Throughout our study of this subject, our lecturer always used to tell us that we should be aiming to spend a maximum of three minutes per graph question. Realistically, this is never usually the case - sometimes we spend up to five minutes so if you do the math, you can see that the people who had up to 12 questions in their exams could have been spending the entire 60 minutes exam time fighting to get them done! To put it into perspective, there are 34 questions (total) in the Performance exam so getting the graph questions out of the way is crucial. I would show you an example graph question but I won't bore you. Seeing godknowshowmany lines on a page isn't exactly my idea of 'fun' either.

Still, we were LUCKY to have only 5 graph questions and I think I have done ok on those. In the mock examinations, our Performance lecturer also gave us 5 graph questions and being worth 2-3 marks EACH, they were the SOLE REASON why I failed to achieve 80-90%. I simply made silly little mistakes - mistakes I am quite sure I have not made again, thankfully. We'll see anyway. Again, it's a close call. I've either just passed Performance...or come so close. That's how I feel about it! I'm trying to keep a positive head though.

After the exams finished, everyone started asking "how did you find it? What did you put for x, y, z? I think I've done bad/great/wonderful/blahblah" which was seriously irritating. Seriously, what is WRONG with some people? After an exam, I don't particularly feel like finding out from the people who were achieving straight 90's (%) in their mocks that they put x and y as answers and not v and w (like me)! I didn't discuss my answers though, but kept them to myself - just telling them that I found the exams "pretty reasonable!". In order to not look completely antisocial (let's face it, I was tired and wanted to go home...), I joined them for a few drinks. We decided to go to the 'Bavarian Beerhouse' (http://www.bavarian-beerhouse.co.uk/index.php/aboutus/towerhill) located just abeam Tower Hill. If anywhere, I'd have preferred to have found a nice cosy pub (I've never been a beer drinker - never liked it), but I had a whiskey and a few glasses of red which made a nice change. Feeling a little tipsy (yes yes, I'm a self-confessed 'light weight'. I very rarely drink so when I do it always takes me by surprise! Alcohol simply doesn't matter to me, that's all), I left at 1900hrs for the tube home as my friend (probably one of my closest friends now) and 'D' decided to head off too.

I don't know what else to write now so I'll wrap this up. This week I'm not doing much to be honest. I wanted to book a check flight with an instructor but sadly all the slots are taken at my flying club (massive fail). So far I've done absolutely nothing today other than relax in my room, which has been nice in a way...but also a little bit depressing too. After all, when you are alone, the only thing you have for company are your own thoughts. It's been weird not having to study and quite nice too. I think I need to eat something now so I'm going out for the evening. Tomorrow my new running regime will begin. I don't have to worry this week about only running for a limited amount of time because of studying commitments so I can step up the pace a bit. Running is the most wonderful escape - the only time where I feel completely free :)

Do you know what would make me happy? If I had a running partner - someone who can join me - someone to talk to! It gets a bit lonely being confined to a room most nights. I'm going to make a positive move and research Badminton clubs around here. I've not played properly since I couldn't take the opportunity I had presented to me when I was 17. In a way, I've always regretted it.


Until next time. Have a great week.


David

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Numbers and figures...

Week 3.

It's been a little while since I last posted but I'll try to keep it brief all the same.


Why is it that all of a sudden there are not enough hours in the day??? I'm putting all the hours I have into studying...but there just aren't ENOUGH hours to revise everything we go through in the day it seems! Frustrating! I've never had to study like this before. Seriously, 3 years of University is a piece of cake compared to this. Dead simple. University just doesn't come close...

I am enjoying it though, but the stress is overshadowing that enjoyment at the moment. We have regular 'Progress Tests' which are not important, but should be taken very seriously as they give you a clear indication of the level of knowledge required in the exam. In all honesty, my first progress test on 'Principles of Flight' was a complete disaster. I only have myself to blame though. My revision technique was clearly so very wrong indeed. All I was doing after University was coming home, READING the books and effectively not 'processing' what I was reading. In other words, I didn't LEARN it! Pretty fatal, hmm? I felt awful after that little test. I'm a very positive individual but I couldn't help but immediately jump to conclusions and question my ability to succeed on this course. Needless to say, I spoke to my tutor who advised that I should be constantly answering practice questions from the online 'question bank' already............so I've been doing that alongside the reading, since and I think such a technique is working because my practice grades are seemingly improving so...that's a start! We'll see what happens in the second 'Principles of Flight' Progress Test this Friday anyway...closely followed by 'Performance' on Monday. Urgh.

Here's a typical 'Performance' question for you to attempt:

"What is the minimum field length required for the worst wind situation, landing a twin jet aeroplane with the anti-skid inoperative?

Elevation: 2000ft
QNH: 1013hPa
Landing mass: 50000kg
Flaps: As required for minimum landing distance
Runway condition: Dry
Wind:
Maximum allowable tailwind: 15kt
Maximum allowable headwing: 50kt

a. 3100m
b. 2900m
c. 2600m
d. 2700m"

Nice, hmm! :/


As stupid as this may sound, HOW do you revise such a huge volume of information anyway?! Sure, I'm answering questions...but I'm finding that having spent most of a particular evening trying to understand one subject - as well as answering questions on the chapters I have read, I run out of time and have to forfeit reading/answering questions relating to other subjects because I know I *MUST* get some sleep! Last night was a complete joke. I went to bed at 0300hrs, despite knowing that THAT was the 'wrong' thing to do...and why???? Because I was too busy reading 'Principles of Flight' and answering questions on the chapters I was reading. My PLAN was to study 'Performance', also...but that didn't happen because I was so wrapped up in PoF! SIGH. I like to think that my study technique will slot into place and become more EFFICIENT in time as my understanding of the initial two million topics we're having to focus on currently, improves. We'll see. Any suggestions, let me know! But remember I'm currently studying the following - all at the same time:

- Principles of Flight
- Powerplants
- Gas Turbine Engines
- Performance
- Electrics
- Airframes & Systems

At the end of the day, only I can figure this out I guess. I was always very good at studying for and writing reports at University, but we never had to do exams. This course is ALL exams so I'm just going to have to figure this out.

Anyway, last time I posted I was in the process of moving to London. Well, I'm here now...and it's ok. My room is really large and airy, with plenty of space for my belongings.............and all these books! I even have a little section in my room that I pretty much use as a fitness area, so having a workout and then going for a run around the local area (which is nice by the way) after uni ends, is ideal really! I love running. It's a great escape from being stuck indoors all day studying and allows me to take my mind off things! For 45-60 minutes I can just FORGET about the course and have a clear mindset. I really like that.

Overall, I'm keeping positive. This is a great opportunity to prove wrong a few individuals in the past two to three years who doubted me. It's pretty personal. Obviously, it is my dream to become a Professional Pilot, but it will feel all the sweeter when I get through this course as I know I'll be well on my way to achieving my goal. I've felt quite a mixture of emotions recently. I miss flying (although I will try to catch some airtime once a month if I can...), the family pets (my cat and two dogs) and I miss America like crazy. Thoughts of returning there in May/June 2012 to build my hours keep me going, help me believe and is my everyday incentive to achieve. I don't want to complete ALL my hour building there, but I certainly want to experience flying in America and perhaps travel around it. Would love to ask someone if they would like to experience such an adventure with me.

Until next time.


David

P.s. Hmmm...that wasn't exactly 'brief' was it?

Saturday 3 September 2011

Expected...yet overwhelming

Uhhhh, where do I start?? This week has been very intense, frankly. I can't say I didn't expect it though. I knew that the course would start with a bang and the workload would suddenly be piled on, but it still feels like quite a shock to the body-clock! I had been staying with my sister all week which made things easier (didn't have to commute all the way from home!), but all of a sudden I'm waking up at 0600hrs Monday - Friday to prepare and arrive on time for class start at 0900hrs. It's been almost two years since I last woke up at such 'unearthly' hours for work on a daily basis so...here we go again! I best get used to it again I guess! Especially considering I'll be expected to work all kinds of hours when I'm a First Officer for an airline someday.

The first day was great. The other students on my course all seem really down-to-earth and easy to talk to which is great! The girl and guy I sit next to in class seem such fun and we all help each other out in class if one of us doesn't understand a particular topic of the lecture. The lecturers are great too - ENCYCLOPEDIAS! Being specialists in their respective fields, they are seemingly able to explain absolutely anything in an understandable 'bite-size' manner. Such a wealth of experience. Our first exam is on 7th November for the following three topic areas that we are currently studying:

- Airframes and Systems, Powerplants, Electrics, Emergency Equipment (Patrick Geary)
- Performance (Peter Knapp)
- Principles of Flight (Washington Mhangami)

I'm finding the above subjects really interesting so far, although I'm struggling a little bit with 'Performance'. There are so many equations to remember and right now, I feel completely overwhelmed with the sheer quantity of information that has been presented to me in the first week. I'm sure everything will start making more sense throughout the second week starting on Monday once I have settled into my study routine. Oh and everyone is in the same boat as me after all :).

Tomorrow afternoon, I move into the house I'll be renting in London for the duration of the course (8 months) so I'll finally have my own space to focus. I've been trying to arrange a transfer with work to a store near where I live so hopefully they'll get back to me sometime next week because I honestly do not want to have to commute home for work every weekend. Pointless.

Better get back to packing now. The need to keep 'current' with regard to my flying is also in the back of my mind...so I need to book a Sunday slot for sometime mid-month, THIS month. I'm going to be really disciplined with my studying throughout the week so I can have a break at weekends for work and flying purposes. Whether this idea is too ambitious or not is yet to be discovered, but I feel I will burn myself out if I study literally seven days a week! Need to have at least a day's rest...and is there anything better than getting some airtime? I don't think so :)



David

Sunday 28 August 2011

Hopes and fears...

Over the past few years I have lost count at the amount of times I have created a blog account only to never use it - to never post! I'm sure many of us have done exactly the same thing as the idea of 'blogging' seems to appeal to many as a little chunk of online space for us to talk about our thoughts, feelings, fears, general emotions and day-to-day happenings/events. However, blogging requires time and a degree of dedication/motivation to put these accounts to paper which is probably why many people (like me) are unable to keep it up once started. My sister has been through a fascinating period in her life where she has been lucky enough to travel to various wonderful places in the world - most notably, China - where she taught English to Chinese students. Throughout her time there I was most impressed with how she successfully managed to write an almost DAILY blog of her travels which enabled us at home to effectively 'follow' her progress as the months passed by.

In a way, I aspire to use this blog as a record of my progress as I undertake the toughest challenge of my life (and studies) yet; completing my 'ATPL' (Air Transport Pilots License) studies in London. ATPL studies are the highest level of theoretical qualification within the aviation industry so I am most certainly not going to underestimate the grueling months ahead. With this in mind, I would therefore like to also use this blog as a way to present my current thoughts, feelings, fears, general-emotions and day-to-day happenings/events - as mentioned earlier in this post. I suspect there will be days where I will write very little due to an overwhelming workload and/or sense of tiredness...but there will also be days where I will try to update you all in more detail...


...If you can stay awake that is ;)


I'm very excited for the future. I have never felt so certain in my life with regard to knowing what I want to DO WITH IT as I do now. I feel very blessed for having the gift of flight in my possession as it is the most wonderful feeling. To be able to see the world on a daily basis from such a beautiful perspective is a dream that I shall work my socks off to achieve because the one thing I fear more than anything now is failure to succeed.


"Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe" - Gail Devers



Oh, please note I'm a Retail Management graduate, not an English Literature graduate so I'm sure my way of writing probably leaves a lot to be desired sometimes! Please bear with me and just roll with it :). If you ever have anything to add, feel free. I appreciate feedback always. After all, without such feedback, we learn very little and cannot improve ourselves.